Fish spend Labor Day Weekendcamping, hunting for humans

An unusual calm fell over the offices of PlattForm Friday afternoon as people and fish departed for the start of a three-day Labor Day weekend that signals the end of summer and one last chance to commune with nature.

For the employees, it was a weekend of camping or relaxing. For the fish of our community aquarium, the three-day weekend offered our gilled friends one more chance to bag a human before the end of hunting season.

"I almost got a big one," said Phillip, the albino paradise fish. "I was using my 'Dinner time!' call and this big human was lumbering toward me, but another human got his attention and he walked off before I could club him. I was so close."

Several fish had more luck, including the tiger loaches, who each bagged the limit of four humans apiece.

"We had a great run of luck hunting from a perch just outside a Wal-Mart," said one of the tiger loaches. "We ambushed a whole family shopping outside the store at one of those sidewalk sales. It was a great day for human hunting. We're going to have enough stew to get us through a whole winter."