Fatty Arbuckle dies following attack;McGee being held for fishslaughter

Fatty Arbuckle died this afternoon after a brief struggle to recover from injuries suffered in an attack led by notorious molly bully Knuckles McGee.

McGee was arrested and placed in an isolation tank (photo above). Authorities stated this afternoon that McGee will be charged with fishslaughter for the vicious attack that left Arbuckle disabled and adrift earlier today.

"This is a dark day in the history of our aquarium," said TankKeeper. "We have suffered a loss that cannot be weighed. Our thought and prayers go out to the family of Fatty Arbuckle, most especially to her son, Gozer."

Arbuckle has been taken to the fish morgue. State law requires an autopsy in any case involving fishslaughter. Funeral arrangements are pending.

Arbuckle's owner, Cari Heelan, is said to be bearing up well under the strain of grief.

For Gozer, condolences from another baby

Gozer has remained in his isolation crib today, seeking comfort from crib-mates and expressing gratitude for the condolences of a mournful community.

Orangejello sent a letter of sympathy to the baby fish who was his crib-mate for two months.

"Dear Gozer," the letter states, "This is one more bond we share -- we must always remind ourselves what brave fish our mothers were. In deepest sympathy, Orangejello."

Share your condolences with the family

We invite you to share your thoughts on the death of Fatty Arbuckle by submitting a comment to this article.