Gozer said to be weighing legal options

Gozer has retained an attorney and is said to be weighing legal options stemming from his mother's murder earlier today.

The little fish, despondent over the tragic loss of his mother, Fatty Arbuckle, has hired Johnny Cockroach as his lead counsel. Cockroach is famous for taking on the government in big cases -- and winning.

"If the government had pursued either of my mother's harassment claims, this could have been prevented and she would be alive today," Gozer said in a statement issued late today. "My mom was a battered fish, and that should not happen anymore. I am prepared to fight to ensure that what happen to mom won't happen to other fish."

Gozer has already called upon Congress to pursue a law that would bring harsher punishments
to fish battery crimes.