And We'll Have Fun, Fun, FunTill Daddy Takes OrangeJello Away

When does a baby fish outgrow his crib? It's an age-old question that has been asked a lot in recent days with regard to Orangejello.

"When are you going to cut that guy loose?" asked one fishwatcher.

"Isn't he big enough yet?" asked another.

The answer has remained the same for several weeks. Tank officials concerned by the disappearance of neon tetras say they wouldn't consider releasing Orangejello until he exceeds the smallest tetra in size.

"To be honest, we may never release him," TankKeeper remarked recently. "He's happy and well-fed. His crib doesn't take up much space. It's a happy arrangement. Why would we risk losing our star fish simply because a few people have called him a 'Mama's boy'?"

Orangejello's grandmother has heard it all from her seat near the community aquarium, and her toes curl at the mere mention of the word "release."

"My little grandbaby is fine where he is," said Corey Smith. "Why would people want to go and mess with him? It's a private family decision. End of story."

Smith has grown weary of the entire debate. She thinks people should spend less time worrying about Orangejello and more time worrying about their jobs.

Orangejello's case has stirred a different kind of debate among state politicians.

"Here in Kansas, the line is blurred even further than it might be somewhere else," TankKeeper said. "I mean, you can't even get a decent lesson on evolution here. So how are we to know when it's time for the baby fish to leave the crib?"

Tank officials declined to set a timeline for Orangejello's possible release. TankKeeper added that such a move could be months, perhaps even years, away.