Special Guest!Joan Rivers drops by tankto talk about style, dish fish

Comedienne and style commentator Joan Rivers dropped in for a short visit to the community aquarium on Wednesday night. Rivers, 72, was en route to a performance at the New Theater in Overland Park. She said she wanted to stop by and see the fish that are gaining such international acclaim for their style and aplomb.

"When I heard about these amazing fish from Kansas, I told my daughter Melissa, 'Who knew they had water in Kansas?' Hell, I didn't even know you COULD take a shower there. Anyway, I just had to come and see this for myself."

Rivers was full of praise for Orangejello.

"That fish is gorgeous!" said Rivers. "Those eyes, that bright coloring ... and the distinctive marking on the tailfin! I want to wrap that little fish up and take it home with me!"

True to form, Rivers was less than flattering when describing other fish in the aquarium. When she spotted the new marble molly, Rivers did not even attempt to hide her contempt.

"God, who wears polka dots anymore?" Rivers asked, shaking her head. "That fish should be scaled and served on a platter. It's off to the sushi bar with you, little missy."

Rivers was equally inflammatory when discussing the red-hued dwarf gouramis.

"Oh, that poor ugly thing," she remarked. "Honey, if you're shaped like a pear with an ass like Roseanne, at least have the decency to hide behind a fake plant. And that rust color is HORRIBLE. She looks like a big rusty piece of crap."

While the fish were unmoved by the criticism, at least one fishwatcher was underwhelmed by Rivers' visit.

"I find her about as relevant as the AMC Pacer," said Tracy Benbrook. "Why should we care what some pasty old hag thinks about our fish, anyway?"