New report reveals:Death claims 32 so far in 2005;Most die at fins of assassins

Death has claimed 32 lives in our community aquarium since it opened in April, according to a new report released Tuesday by tank officials. The leading cause of death was assassination.

In its comprehensive Report on Fish Welfare and Aquarium Safety, the community aquarium governing board included details about all 32 fatalities.

Assassination was the leading cause of death, claiming 17 lives so far this year. Natural causes was the second biggest killer, taking 7 lives. The dread fish disease ick came in third with six fatalities. One death was suicide, and another death's cause remained undetermined.

"We want the fish-watching public to understand that while 32 deaths may seem like a very high number, we are dealing with delicate creatures and a rather formidable force - mother nature," said TankKeeper in a press conference Tuesday night. "In many cases, death came during the on-going fight for autonomy among many species in tight quarters. Literally, survival of the fittest, as it were."

When asked about the unusually high number of assassinations, tank officials were quick to point out that 12 of the 17 deaths by assassination occurred on the same day.

"For us, July 18 was a particularly deadly day," said TankKeeper. "On that day we lost 12 ghost shrimp in an appalling day of murder and mayhem. The entire ghost shrimp population was brutally slaughtered on that day by maniacal cannibalistic fish. That one day really skewed the overall death numbers."

What follows are details about all 32 fatalities as reported to officials:

Victim No. 32
Date: Sept. 24
Victim: Un-named Golden Molly
Owner: Billie Huey
Cause of death: Undetermined

Victim No. 31
Date: Sept. 16
Victim: Baby molly Licorice
Owner: None
Cause of death: Natural causes

Victim No. 30
Date: Sept. 14
Victim: Un-named black molly
Owner: None
Cause of death: Natural causes (Septic shock secondary to congenital intestinal stenosis)

Victim No. 29
Date: Sept. 13
Victim: Frank the Frog
Owner: Rachel Platt
Cause of death: Natural causes

Victim No. 28
Date: Sept. 1
Victim: Jane Doe the balloon belly molly
Owner: Cari Heelan
Cause of death: Assassination (chased by paparazzi)

Victim No. 27
Date: Aug. 11
Victim: Terrence the albino paradise fish
Owner: Kevin Ness
Cause of death: Natural causes

Victims Nos. 26 through 15
Date: July 18
Victim: Dozen ghost shrimp
Owner: Wade Sisson
Cause of death: Assassination/feeding frenzy by larger fish

Victims Nos. 14 through 12
Date: July 15
Victim: Three neon tetras
Owner: Cari Heelan
Cause of Death: Assassination

Victim No. 11
Date: July 13
Victim: Red black-tailed molly
Owner: Zac Lavicky
Cause of death: Natural causes

Victim No. 10
Date: July 5
Victim: Female Mickey Mouse Platy (Orangejello's mother)
Owner: Corey Smith
Cause of death: Committed suicide after eating own babies

Victim No. 9
Date: June 27
Victim: Hatchetfish
Owner: Betsy Wilhite
Cause of death: Ick

Victim No. 8
Date: June 9
Victim: Luke the blue dwarf gourami
Owner: Wade Sisson
Cause of death: Natural causes

Victim No. 7
Date: June 10
Victim: Irwin the bala shark
Owner: Jamon Abercrombie
Cause of death: Ick

Victim No. 6
Date: May 6
Victim: Pandamonium the Panda Cory Catfish
Owner: Jen Brown
Cause of death: Ick

Victims Nos. 5 and 4
Date: May 9
Victim: Remaining pair of Cory Catfish
Owner: Jennifer Brown
Cause of deaths: Ick

Victim No. 3
Date: April 26
Victim: Cory the catfish
Owner: Eric Bowlin
Cause of death: Ick

Victim No. 2
Date: April 16
Victim: Coral the female marble molly
Owner: Andrea Turner
Cause of death: Natural causes

Victim No. 1
Date: April 15
Victim: Darf the black male molly
Owner: Tim Baxter
Cause of death: Assassination