Mr. Larry the beta dies at tender age of 2

A distant cousin to our community fish died today at age 2. Mr. Larry the blue beta fish died at 3 p.m. of natural causes, according to a statement released by the family.

"Mr. Larry was one of the first fish to ever grace our office," said fish-watcher Tracy Benbrook.

Mr. Larry belonged to Cari Heelan, making this the third such loss for Heelan in two weeks. Heelan was in seclusion and unavailable for comment.

Heelan's other beta, Bruce Lee, was murdered while under the care of Tracy Benbrook "the killer fish-sitter." Mr. Larry graced the small beta bowl that was his home for more than a year. He was healthy almost to the end and died without comment.