Fish terror alert raised to Redin light of fish hanging incident

Our community aquarium is on a heightened terror alert status following the gruesome discovery of a fish hung by its entrails a mere stone's throw from our tropical fish.

"We ask that all fish be extremely vigilant during this holiday season," said Tad Pole, chief of FishLand Security. "The hanging of a fish earlier this week so near to our community means we all need to do our part to fight the terrorists. If we stop swimming, the terrorists win."

Federal officials elevated the terror alert immediately following the discovery Wednesday morning of a fish hung from the ceiling of the Search4 administration division. An investigation was underway. Government operatives hinted this morning that another attack might be imminent.

"This hanging, coupled with the increased Al-Barracuda chatter that we've been picking up from back channels, led us to the conclusion that our terror alert status must be changed to reflect this heightened threat," said an unnamed government official.

Security measures inside the aquarium have been elevated. The Parthenon is closed to visitors until further notice, and all baby fish cribs have been locked down. All public events are cancelled until further notice.

"It's enough to scare you right out of your gills," said Chubby the baby molly. "Whoever hung that fish by his guts obviously has issues. It's downright bone-chilling."