Love will keep us together

We here at Freshwater Adventures apologize for the gap in postings here at http//:ourfishtales.blogspot.com. As you have been reading over the past few weeks there have been a large number of lost friends and comrades due to a mysterious illness and other causes. Although we have finally seen a lull in the loss of life here, our community is still recovering from the tremendous losses that we have all felt. Fortunately for all of us, our little hero Orangejello has grown up to be a pillar of strength in this difficult time. Orangejello recently received his degree in Counseling and Psychology and the University of Phoenix and has been assisting the various fish in our aquarium that have lost a friend or relative. He has also shown a tremendous amount of patience and understanding while trying to help our young children (the Brady Bunch) deal with a topic that they have never experienced in their short lives. Orangejello has come forward with some very important information for all of us and has agreed to write a brief article for Freshwater Adventures to possibly help you cope as well.

Dear aquarium watchers,

I am sorry that it has taken these terrible events to draw out my first article here at Freshwater Aquariums. I have a great interest in writing having minored in it in college and hope to be a regular contributor here, however right now I have more important things on my plate.

Some of our fish have just been witness to these horrible deaths, others have seen family and friends suffer and then go home to the great aquarium in the sky. I have stressed that the most important thing to know is that it is important to accept yourself and that your feelings of grief are normal. In times of grief you should always be kind to yourself and center yourself spiritually. We have started weekly sessions in our Parthenon where we can all gather together and gain strength from each other. We have also begun Sunday non-denominational services for those that need to come together and worship.

While we have all heard of the five stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, those are really for those that have received catastrophic news and have time to travel through that process. Typically, once a fish is removed from our community tank and sent to the Dorothy Jean Memorial Hospital it’s days or hours are numbered. We rarely have time to even begin that process, so I offer up that there are really three stages that one will go through once death has occurred. Numbness; this is where we are just mechanically functioning. We make our arrangements with Flush Brothers, attend services, and mourn publicly with others. Once all of that has occurred, others go about their daily life driving traffic to lead forms or whatever their daily to-do list shows, and we are left in the Disorganization phase where we come out of the daze and truly experience our painful feelings of loss. At this time it is more important for you to just take a moment to listen and understand where we are at. We don’t need you to try to help us answer the “why”, or change the subject to try and make us feel better, we just want to grieve. Once we can pass though that stage, then we finally arrive at the Reorganization phase. This is where we slowly begin our re-entry into a more “normal” social life. Due to the extreme amount of loss we have endured, it has taken us a while to arrive at this point. I hope that this posting to let you know that we are still here, and we are surviving to the best of our ability, will be a true beginning of our re-entry to our daily routine. Hopefully soon we will be able to welcome the Brady Bunch into the fold in the full aquarium and we can all thrive once again.

Thank you from all of us for your thoughts, card, and concerns. We thought that the wonderful casseroles and treats that you brought by were so thoughtful. Although we will suggest to Rachel P. that she not put tuna in anything that she brings by for future events. Our youngin’s were quite traumatized to learn that you people actually eat fish. We had hoped that they would learn that in the course of their schooling once they are in the tank, but we were able to get rid of the casserole and move on.

Thank you again, and best wishes,

Orangejello

Freshwater Adventures Grief Counselor