SCANDAL ROCKS AQUARIUMKnuckles McGee a Deadbeat Dad!

The Fish Tails tabloid went to press today with a headline that has sent shockwaves through this fish community -- KNUCKLES CONFESSES, 'I'M A DEADBEAT DAD.'

The story soon spread throughout the aquarium, leaving fish and fishwatchers stunned.

In the cover story, Knuckles is quoting as having told a friend, "I am a rotten father. I don't even know how many fry I have fathered, or where they are now. I guess you could say I'm pretty much a loser."

Knuckles' week was already off to a rocky start amid rumors that he might be banished from the aquarium for what one fishwatcher called "his non-stop horndog humping" of Fatty Arbuckle, who just last month was the subject of a pregnancy scare that made headlines worldwide.

"If you saw the way that man chases her," said Dana Owens, fishwatcher and founder of the Dorothy Jean Memorial Hospital for Suicidal and Death-Bound Fish. "Poor Fatty is going to die from exhaustion from being constantly chased unless we intervene and separate Knuckles."

Authorities are now reviewing Knuckle's financial records to determine what sort of fines and fees are appropriate in this case.

"The bastard children of Knuckles McGee will be taken care of, I assure you," said the tankkeeper. "They will get what is rightfully theirs."


Knuckles McGee could not be reached for comment. Fatty Arbuckle is only capable of panting these days.