President pledges $3 billion for ick research

President Bush announced today that he would ask Congress for $3 billion for ick research to prepare aquariums nationwide for a possible ick pandemic.

The pledge came one day after Bush said he would see $7.1 billion in emergency funding to prepare the country for a possible flu pandemic.

"A pandemic,whether it's flu or ick, is a lot like a forest fire," Bush said. "If caught early, it might be extinguished with limited damage; if allowed to smolder undetected, it can grow to an inferno that spreads quickly beyond our ability to control it."

In a speech at the National Aquarium in Baltimore, Maryland, Bush said that ick only affects fish when they are weak or stressed, but added that health officials must be ready.

Bush said that health officials were concerned about ick, which has killed several fish in our community aquarium since April.

"If the parasite were to develop the capacity for sustained human-to-human transmission, it could spread quickly across the globe," Bush said.

During his visit to the aquarium, Bush marveled at the aquarium fish on display. When asked what he thought of the bottom-feeders, he responded: "I don't allow the press corps to call my administration that and I won't allow you to do it, either."

The administration's ick plan provides funding for early detection, containment and treatment of an outbreak.

Most policy-makers on Capitol Hill are skeptical that such a proposal will meet with congressional approval.

"Many times I've watched this administration's ideas get pushed through without a hitch, and I've often said, 'Ick, Ick, Ick!' to myself," said one anonymous legislator. "I was actually describing the policies. Who would've thought they would actually try to spend federal funds on a fish disease. It's just plain dumb."