TankKeeper resigns!New regime promises to keep tank clean

The fish world was stunned to learn today that it was losing one of its own. TankKeeper, who for more than a year has

been the principle caretaker for our aquarium and its tropical fish, is leaving to pursue new adventures.

"The decision to leave was a very difficult one," TankKeeper said in a morning news conference. "I have enjoyed working in this space with these fish, but now other waters await me."

Tank officials announced that a new tankkeeper had been appointed and would be disclosed at a future press conference. Fish watchers who attended the press conference expressed varied emotions upon hearing the news of TankKeeper's departure.

"I am sad but I can't say it is a total surprise," said one tearful fish-watcher. "Ever since Orangejello died, things just sort of went downhill. TankKeeper did his best to carry on, but you could tell that a part of him had died, too."