VERDICT!Court awards Heelan full frog custody

A Johnson County District court today awarded full custody of Jimmy Legs the aquatic frog to his mother, Cari Heelan. The verdict, which came just after the noon hour, brings an end to the heated fight for rights to the feisty frog.

Addressing the court, Judge Francis DeGardinia said, "After reading the comments made by Mr. Baxter yesterday, I cannot in any kind of conscience award him custody of the frog."

The judge was referring to comments Baxter made when told his frog was causing trouble at his new home. "Good," Baxter said. "Let him die by the sword, as he has lived."

Baxter wasn't present in court today, but his lawyer scowled at the judge as this pronouncement was made. Baxter's counsel maintained throughout the trial that Heelan, a confirmed heretic, was unfit to be the frog's guardian.

"This court is well aware," the judge continued, "of Mrs. Heelan's devotion to the devil, and despite her terrible blood-lust, this court finds that she is the preferable choice for sole guardianship of this frog."

Heelan's witch trial is still underway. She was unavailable for comment.

It is too soon to say what might happen to Jimmy Legs. He may be moving in with his mother, or he might be sticking it out at the frog-only aquarium, but he's earned himself many enemies there for his aggressive behavior.