The orange one with the hump

No, I am not talking about a pumpkin, (although it is almost time to take a knife to one), I am talking about a fish.

Due to my inability to guess the gender of aquatic creatures, I will be presenting this post with both pronouns, so you can pick your preference – sort of like a choose-your-own-path book.

Over the past few weeks, we have seen two fish end their world in the downward-spiral swallow of the Church (see right). Today, the fish we suspect was the main cause of the two deaths joined them.

Once again, we don't have a name for it, (which is why I am going to suggest we come up with a naming scheme for the bereaved remainder of the population), but I do know what it looked like.

What I am going to do is describe he/she/it, or if you prefer – the fish.

He/she was a deep orange with dark-brown accents. Even his/her eyes were orange, with a sort of velvet look to them. It was almost as if a really small person from the sixties put on mini scuba gear and installed tiny patches of shag carpet on them. The fish also had a very pronounced hump in his/her back, and every time he/she stopped swimming, his/her back half would slowly sink.

We all knew it was a matter of time before it was unable to re-align itself to be level and just sink to the bottom. This is why it was no shock to learn of the death this morning.

Good news though – we may be infusing the population with more fish! Stay tuned for more.

Another One Bites the Dust

Not much is known about the fish which passed this weekend, however, I will do my best to make something up, and this post shall serve as our little friend's obituary.

Could this event have been foreshadowed in last Thursday's episode of The Office?

Was it a sign that the water level was again getting to low?

Will there really be another Indiana Jones?

The answer to all of these questions is up in the air. We do know one thing though – the other fish all wanted a taste of the action, literally.

"It was covered in bites and some kind of fungus," said the lucky one who got the pleasure of removing one ‘John Doe’ from the tank over the weekend.

We may never know the name or identity of the departed, however, we do know it wasn't Frozone; and when it all boils down, that is all that matters.