Relief! Tank experiences a day without death

For the first time in a long while, our community aquarium went a full 24 hours without the loss of a single fish.

"With the recent string of death's today's milestone is hardly something to crow about," TankKeeper said. "We won't consider ourselves out of the woods until we can say to a certainty that our community aquarium is plague-free."

The Brady Bunch were set for release next week, but tank officials are considering a postponement of that event until such time as the general population can be stabilized.

"We've had several tetras who just disappeared," said one tank official who spoke on condition of anonymity. "I don't think that's the kind of environment you want your kids in. I think we'd be wise to keep the babies in the cribs until all of this mayhem slows down."

Surviving Pioneers: And then there were two

Of the seventeen tropical fish who were introduced to our community aquarium on inauguration day (Friday, April 15, 2005), only two remain alive.

FroZone the glass catfish and Aubrey the marble molly have endured ick, parasites, fungal infections, assassinations and plagues while other pioneering fish died in the waters around them.

"I don't spend a lot of time worrying about Aubrey," said owner Terri Spears. "She's a big girl and she has proven time and time again that she can take care of herself. Even evil Knuckles McGee knew better than to rumble with her."

Aubrey has thrived in a tank full of adversity. In fact, she is thought to be the world's largest marble molly in captivity today.

"My glass catfish started off on his own, and he was very shy," said FroZone owner Nourisha Wells. "Over time, he's gained three companions and is one of the staples of our tank. He's one cool cat."

Tank officials concede that a number of pioneering fish would probably be alive today if the latest plague had been stopped earlier.

"Whenever we lose a fish, it's a tragedy," said TankKeeper, "but to lose any of our original fish is an especially difficult loss to bear. We have a special bond with those first fish, and losing them is something we always struggle to endure."

A special memorial is being prepared for the pioneering fish who have died during the past year, including Luke the dwarf gourami, Leia the dwarf gourami, Irwin the bala shark, Frank the frog, Darf the black molly, Toby the catfish, One Fish the neon tetra, Two Fish the neon tetra, Fatty Arbuckle the balloon-belly molly, four zebra danios, Whino the dojo loach and Phish the dojo loach.

Artist formerly known as Phish dead at 1

Andy Schiller's famous dojo loach, one of the first tropical fish added to our aquarium last April, died overnight while being treated for a fungal infection. He was 1 year old.

Phish is the latest in a string of recent fungus-related deaths. The plague already claimed the lives of our other original dojo loach, Whino, and a new loach, Tonic, who was added to the aquarium only last week.

Sources say that tank officials are hopeful that the plague will end now that all dojo loaches, its most acute victims, are gone, but several other fish have died during this period. The plague may go on indefinitely.

Phish was one of the most famous residents of our aquarium. He was featured alongside Whino in a Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph called "Loach Lovin'" (pictured above) by renowned aquatic photographer Aaron Lindberg.

"Of all the photos I have taken in my career, that photo of Whino and Phish is the one that still gets the most attention," Lindberg said from his office across the pond. "I am often stopped on the street and asked how the loaches are doing. It is sad now to know that they are all gone. So many great lights have gone out."

Phish was buried per loach ritual within moments of his body's retrieval from the medical unit where he died. Flush Brothers was in charge of all arrangments.

Andy Schiller, Phish's owner, prefers to remember his fish in happier times.

"He definitely made a contribution to the great history of our aquarium," Schiller said. "The people will always remember him as one of the finest bottom-feeders who ever lived. That is quite a legacy for any fish."

Plague!Officials urge calm as body count increases

Our freshwater fish are dying in droves as a plague continues to, well, plague our community fish aquarium.

The body count has reached stellar proportions. Our two new white lyretail mollies died Dec. 22. That staggering loss, which officials had not expected, was followed one day later by the loss of an orange and black molly.

Over the holiday weekend, all but one neon tetra died and Tonic, our new dojo loach, developed a severe parasitic growth on his midsection. Tonic was transported to Dorothy Jean Memorial Hospital on Monday morning. Doctors say they are losing hope that the young fish can be saved.

"Right now he is critical as to life," said Dr. Gill Dorsal, chief pathologist at Dorothy Jean Memorial Hospital. "We can literally see the life draining out of him with each passing moment."

Tank officials added newer, stronger medication to the aquarium today. If more deaths occur, tank officials may consider enacting the Emergency Contingency Plan, or ECP, which involves moving fish into medically treated containers while the main tank is detoxed. Such a plan has never before been necessary. Experts claim such a last-ditch effort would likely be catastrophic for our fish population.

"This is our most desperate hour," TankKeeper said. "We are putting our last hope in the strength of the medications, the abilities of our staff and the resilience of these fish."

Tabloid bombshell:Orangejello, Chubby secretly wed in Vegas

Did they or didn't they?

A Las Vegas tabloid reported today that lovebirds Orangejello and Chubby Arbuckle tied the knot in a super-secret wedding over the company holiday party weekend.

Sources close to the fish could not be reached for comment, and Orangejello's agent offered a terse "no comment."

As you may recall, Freshwater Adventures first broke the story of the blossoming love affair between Orangejello and galpal Chubby Arbuckle on Dec. 1. Since that time, the pair have become our aquarium's hottest young couple.

It was only Monday that the couple was spotted at Blue Coral, a popular nightspot for young fish.

"I saw them on the dance floor, and they were all over each other," says an eyewitness. "Orangejello was very, very attentive. He couldn't keep his fins off her."

The whole tank has been abuzz with rumors, which undoubtedly will reach a fever pitch as news from Vegas hits the water.

"I haven't seen either fish wearing a ring, and so far they are managing to keep this all very hush-hush," said a fish familiar with the couple. "I guess what happens in Vegas really does stay in Vegas."

At least for now.

Anti-plague measures appear to be working

Today was the first day in a long while without a death in our community fish aquarium, prompting tank officials to breathe a sigh of relief.

"We are still monitoring things with a jaundiced eye, but so far we are encouraged by the overall health of our aquarium fish and by the recent lack of deaths," TankKeeper said in an afternoon press conference. "This plague has already taken a terrible toll, and we fully intend to stop it in its tracks."

Our new fish appear to be just as healthy and well-adjusted as the old-timers. Tonic, (pictured at right) the new baby dojo loach, appears to be getting along well with his larger tank-mate, Phish. Our new silver lyretail mollies also appear to be healthy and happy.

TankKeper departs tonight for a five-day fact-finding tour in the West. Among his chief objectives will be studying the root cause of Ick. A deputy tank official will assume all official duties in TankKeeper's absence.

Plague!:Tank treated with meds as fish drop like flies

Our community aquarium has suffered a number of fish casualties in the past two weeks. Tank officials today doused the tank with anti-fungal medicines after removing the bodies of a silver danio and sunburst platy from the troubled waters.

"We hate to incite panic, but we're obviously concerned," said TankKeeper. "To lose a fish or two every day over this extended period of time would be enough to alarm anyone. We are taking a very aggressive stand against whatever diseases lurk in our community."

Mrs. Howell, a sunburst platy who was added to our tank on Aug. 30, was discovered dead alongside a zebra danio at 11 a.m. Mrs. Howell gave birth Nov. 9 to the fabulous Brady Bunch six, a brood that to date is the biggest batch of fry ever to survive in our community aquarium. Mr. Howell survives. Both were owned by Dave Admire.

Tank officials have cancelled all tank events until further notice, and medications meant to overpower the unknown pathogen have been released throughout the aquarium. No baby releases will take place until further notice pending this fish health crisis.

Lockdown:Three new fish the last additions for now

Tank officials permitted three new fish to be added to the community aquarium today even as the waters were being treated for a runaway disease. A breeding pair of silver lyretail mollies (pictured at right) and a dojo loach were added to the aquarium at 1:15 p.m. today.

"We do not anticipate any difficulties for these new fish, which are meant to replace some of our recent losses," said an unnamed tank official in charge of new acquisitions. "They had already been approved before the lockdown was ordered at 1:00 p.m."

Tank officials kept the new fish in quarantine and apparently considered having the fish returned to PetsMart before agreeing to allow the new fish into the aquarium.

The new fish include a new dojo loach to replace Tracy Benbrook's Whino, the dojo loach who died earlier this week. Benbrook has decided to name her new fish Tonic.

Fish who played dead many times found dead

Phillip, our long-suffering Albino Paradise Fish, went home to Paradise today. Phillip's dead body was discovered floating inside the west food ring.

Phillip was one of two paradise fish added to the aquarium on July 15 by Kevin Ness. Terrence, the larger of the pair, died Aug. 12 of an unknown ailment. In the months that followed, tankmate Phillip grew increasingly depressed. He was most often found floating near the crib net in a comatose state.

Phillip's hang-dog expression led to several false alarms from fishwatchers who would call tank officials to report a dead fish. Today, the call was real.

"He was a strange fish," said one fishwatcher who wished to remain anonymous. "We tolerated him because he was no doubt depressed about the loss of his friend. But to be honest, he was so depressing to look at. I can't pretend to be sad. He's in a better place and we should just be happy for him. And happy for ourselves that we don't have to look at him any more."

Phillip was buried in the privacy of the backlot. Flush Brother, Inc. handled arrangements. Also buried today, a neon tetra who died over the weekend.

Whino dead!Parasite takes life of pioneering loach

Whino the mojo loach died today following a brief struggle against an unknown parasite. The sick fish was removed from the aquarium at 10 a.m. and treated with medication at Dorothy Jean Memorial Hospital. She failed to respond to treatment, however, and died at 12:40 p.m.

"Our tank has lost one of the first fish ever to set fin in these waters," said Aubrey, the world's largest molly. "It is a senseless tragedy. Our loaches had more mojo than any fish in the tank. My thoughts and prayers are with Phish."

Phish, our surviving mojo loach, was added to the aquarium on April 15, the same day that Whino and several other fish were introducted to our community tank. Phish appears to be doing well despite the strain of grief he is feeling at the loss of his tankmate.

Whino's owner, Tracy Benbrook, was unavailable for comment. Benbrook had been the subject of a trial last year for the sudden death of Bruce Lee, a beta fish temporarily in her care. Benbrook was cleared of all charges and, by all accounts, was a model fish parent to Whino.

"This is terribly sad," said Koklin Tee, who only occasionally stops to visit our fish. "I wish more could have been done to save this fish."

Silver hatchet fish gets the ax

Achilles, who only yesterday was given his name, died today. Tank officials were unable to determine the cause of death.

"We have had very bad luck with hatchet fish in the past," said TankKeeper. "We lost one a few months ago, and now we've lost one half of the new pair of hatchet fish."

Hercules, the surviving hatchet fish, appears to be doing fine. The hatchet fish are owned by Kelly Schmiedt.

Achilles was buried this afternoon. Flush Brothers Inc. handled the arrangements.

Fish terror alert raised to Redin light of fish hanging incident

Our community aquarium is on a heightened terror alert status following the gruesome discovery of a fish hung by its entrails a mere stone's throw from our tropical fish.

"We ask that all fish be extremely vigilant during this holiday season," said Tad Pole, chief of FishLand Security. "The hanging of a fish earlier this week so near to our community means we all need to do our part to fight the terrorists. If we stop swimming, the terrorists win."

Federal officials elevated the terror alert immediately following the discovery Wednesday morning of a fish hung from the ceiling of the Search4 administration division. An investigation was underway. Government operatives hinted this morning that another attack might be imminent.

"This hanging, coupled with the increased Al-Barracuda chatter that we've been picking up from back channels, led us to the conclusion that our terror alert status must be changed to reflect this heightened threat," said an unnamed government official.

Security measures inside the aquarium have been elevated. The Parthenon is closed to visitors until further notice, and all baby fish cribs have been locked down. All public events are cancelled until further notice.

"It's enough to scare you right out of your gills," said Chubby the baby molly. "Whoever hung that fish by his guts obviously has issues. It's downright bone-chilling."

New employees add new life to aquarium

In a time-honored tradition that dates back to our community aquarium's humble beginnings, new interactive employees today added new fish to our tank.

Randy Dustin, who joined us last week as a web master, added a lemon tetra named Lem. The fish made a quick adjustment to new surroundings and enjoys schooling with the rest of our tetras, including our other lemon tetra.

Koklin Tee, who has been here quite a long time as an analyst on the Internet Account Executive team, added a lemon zambora named Ti-Dou. While Ti-Dou is the only Lemon Zambora in our aquarium, he seems to enjoy swimming alongside his cousins the tetras.

Tank officials added four neon tetras to our community aquarium as well to replace the four tetras who have died in recent months. Our neon tetra population was down to one fish with last week's untimely loss during tank cleaning. Now we have four new neon tetras -- Zappa, Abba, Abra and Kadabra.

In related news, Kelly Schmiedt today announced that her pair of silver hatchetfish are being named after famous Greek warriors Hercules and Achilles.

Fish deliver their Holiday Wish List for 2005

Our tropical fish have released their Holiday Wish List for the year, featuring items they hope will be coming to them during the upcoming holiday weekend. What follows is the partial list:

Orangejello: A yellow sweater and Brine shrimp

Aubrey: The clapper light control system and a Med-Alert bracelet

Lucas Dollar: The "Guppies Gone Wild" video series

Al the Algae Eater: Clorox Wipes and a sponge

Marcia the Sunburst Platy: A hairbrush, a mirror and a pair of Osh-Kosh B-Gosh jeans

The Clown Loaches: A new place to hide and steroids

Phillip the Paradise Fish: Mood suppresants and a hot plate

Sonny the Sunburst Platy: Kelly Clarkson's latest CD and a Chia Pet

Chubby the Molly: A letter from my daddy, Knuckles McGee and Beanie Babies

Fish determined to crash office holiday party

Rankled by the lack of an invitation, the fish of our community aquarium say they are determined to crash the company holiday party on Friday evening.

"Those humans think they can exclude us from the biggest occasion on the corporate calendar, but we are going to teach them a thing or two," said Aubrey, the world's biggest molly. "We WILL be at that party come hell or hot water."

Party-goers are encouraged to wear "bling bling" for the "Bling in the Holidays" party, which officially has no theme this year.

"I have more bling in one fin than those people have in their whole drip-dry bodies," said Orangejello the platy. "Just wait until the party. We'll see who is the host with the most."

The fish rebellion began in earnest last week, when a company-wide invitation to the party failed to reach any of our community fish.

"We will do what we can to contain them in the tank," Tank Keeper said on Monday. "These fish can be pretty determined, but I feel confident we can keep the party fish-free."

Fish-watchers marvel at newly cleaned aquarium

It's so beautiful! And the fish. They are so much more colorful than before.

Today, fish-watchers arrived to a wonderful site -- an aquarium cleanedop to bottom with no fish poo insight. Tank officials gave the tank its second thorough cleaning since its founding in April 2005. Everyone seems very pleased by the results.

There are, however, a few folks who wonder what happened to the green frog decoration that was added late last month.

"Our aquarium designer rejected certain decorations that had been added to our tank over time without his knowledge," said TankKeeper in his morning radio address. "Specifically, I can say that Mr. Boufin was not a fan of the frog statue. It was, in his words, ''aestetically unfortunate.' For that reason, it was returned to its rightful owner."

The frog statue was a gift of Mr. Eric Jones.

Tank officials clean aquarium from top to bottom

Our community aquarium was completely emptied of fish, water, decor, hardware and rocks and thoroughly cleaned before being reconstituted with new water and clean materials. Work on the restoration began at 6:30 p.m. and concluded at 10:30 p.m.

All fish appeared to be doing well in the clean aquarium. One neon tetra was tragically lost during the cleaning process, having become stuck in a net and left out to dry unnoticed. The dead tetra was discovered hours after all fish had been captured and released into temporary quarters.

The design firm of Jannsen was retained for the restoration of the aquarium's decor. The renowned French designer Stephane Boufin created the restored design, banishing some decorations that had added to the aquarium over time.

"The green frog, it was all wrong," said Boufin. "It looked like a fat Spanish dancer. I had it removed immediately."

Boufin was inspired by the aquarium's original Greco-Roman roots, and used that as his inspiration for the design.

"The aquarium design is dictated by the Parthenon centerpiece, which is Greco-Roman. Now the aquarium is really quite unified architecturally."

The aquarium had become increasingly dirty, its water tinted a dull green, since the last tank-wide restoration took place in August.

Orangejello in love!Darling first look of tank's hot new couple

Our little baby is all grown up, and he has babes on the mind!

You read it hear first! Orangejello, the first baby fish born to our community aquarium, has found a girlfriend.

The Mickey Mouse platy has chosen Chubby Arbuckle, daughter of the late Fatty Arbuckle and Knuckles McGee, as his mate. The two were spotted kanoodling side by side today in the main tank plaza in front of the Parthenon.

"We think it's just great to see the new generation growing up," said Aubrey, the world's largest molly and matriarch of our community aquarium. "It's high time these kids starting thinking about the pro-creation of the next generation of fish."

Chubby is a fairly new addition to our aquarium, having been released from her net crib a mere two weeks ago. Sources told Freshwater Adventures that the two adolescent fish met at a party thrown by the Silver Dollars over the Thanksgiving holiday. Orangejello and Chubby have been almost inseparable ever since.

"Platys tend to be fairly monogamous," said TankKeeper. "When they find a suitable mate, they tend to stay with just that one fish until, you know, death do they part and all that."

Orangejello was born June 23, the first baby fish born and safely raised to semi-adulthood in our community aquarium. Orangejello's release party on Sept. 23 was an international event that was witnessed by millions of fish via satellite. Chubby was born Oct. 13 and grew quickly. She was released into the aquarium without fanfare on Nov. 16.

Orangejello's guardian, Corey Smith, declined to give specifics about the Orangejello-Chubby love affair but did make a general statement.

"No matter how rich or famous a fish is, he still has in his heart a desire to keep certain special moments private -- birth, death, marriage and love being chief among them. I hope everyone will give them the privacy they need at this special time in their young lives."